a Taylored Approach
Hello from the coyote fur covered chair in my favorite corner on Chestnut street. I can't tell you the last time I walked into my humble abode, poured myself a glass of wine, put on a tune (currently one of my old school faves, King of Wishful Thinking) and let myself go on a blank page. It's kind of liberating, a little scary depending on how I'm feeling but a pastime I need to bring back ASAP. So the theme of tonight, getting re-inspired and giving back to yourself.
I may have shared before but I'll tell you again. I'm a big card gal. Fun fact that I save most (usually the cutest which people who know me well find the most fitting ones) so there's a volume that's been building. When I'm feeling uninspired or need a quick pick me up, they are my go to. Another I've mentioned is the 8 page letter from FAC (my dad) because after 16 years, his advice still rings true. If you are ever in need of entertainment and thoughts from the wisest guy I know, I'm happy to share as long as it's over a martini. It will always be the most special pieces of paper I own which if you've seen my desk at work (I love paper), that's a bold statement. When I read it, it makes me tear up every time which is a rare occurrence but it's only because I so vividly remember opening it in my La Paz dorm after my parents said goodbye. I even quoted it in my Maid of Honor speech. It's gold.
Why Reserved for Tay? Because I'm learning everyone needs just that and it's one of the hardest things to do. Reserving a little time for yourself that's not spent responding to work emails or working at night, that's without noise in the background or in my case Making a Murderer and that's not even with a book in front of you. It's flexing a different muscle; self reflection. And not the self critical kind where your inner doubt let's you think you could have done more, said more or worked harder. It's turning her off and just giving yourself a chance to reset and realize you conquered the day, however it may have gone.
So if you're in need of a few taglines to get you into Friday, I've rediscovered a few sitting with my palm leaf roommate and TJ's Italian fave. I'll put a star next to the ones from Freddie and if those intrigue you, call me so I have blue cheese stuffed olives on hand.
1. Potential is just that, what could be. How you reach your ultimate potential is up to you.**
2. To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream. Not only plan but also believe.
3. Tough Cookie: Someone with just the right mix of sweetness & strength. One who doesn't crumble under pressure. A fighter who's too busy kicking butt to sit down and cry.
4. You look so young! Did you get peeled or something? (Think birthday carrots)
5. Use your head. Stick to your values. Don't be afraid to be yourself.**
6. Remember the "hunk" from high school. He was "the guy" all the girls wanted. Now he's bald, probably has snotty kids and a bummer of a job. Remember that the ultimate cool is having the courage to be yourself.**
7. It's not just the clothes, it's the attitude.
8. The best combination is to do something you truly love that pays enough to buy the lifestyle you want. Sounds easy but is very hard to find. I'd guess that less than 10% of working adults ever achieve this.**
I'm still inspired walking down the street, galavanting in the most adorable pink Palm Springs hotel and chasing cows in Waco that I realized I have a lot to catch up on to share the adventures, the photos, a few fears and a couple goals I have for the balance of the year. A lot more to come as I'm putting challenges to myself in writing. Put the work computer away and be present to myself to name a few. That one is still tough and one I haven't been able to conquer in the last 6 years.
Creature of habit, victim of career passion... that's TC. But then again, I wouldn't be me.
Until next time,
Hello, it's me, Tay. I was wondering if after a few months you'd like to catch up. To go over the latest with TC. She's back with some thoughts this Sunday night. The last time we chatted, I was escaping to Truckee, had a surprise visit to my favorite Palm Springs and am now sitting here nearly two months later, wondering how it's August. 2018, where are you going? I still have a few things to cross off the list so if you could slow down, that would be great. And although, there's a few points to highlight, a story about a meet cute with a swan at the Palace (yes, you read correctly, it's not a pink door this time) and the reason I am obsessed with the letter H; there's admittedly a realization about my current love/hate relationship with my career, centered around a new word, "uncomfortable."
To be honest, it's been hard for me to put the last few months into words. I walked into work on a random Wednesday, with another promotion and a large challenge laid in front of me. It was the sweetest reward because I got to share it with my work wife. Not to get lovey-dovey (ironically that's her last name) but she is one of the sole reasons I show up everyday ready to dominate. Even though inside lately, I am feeling insecure; she's taken the boss reigns to remind me I can conquer anything and it was me who led the way for us to storm into success. And it's that one word, "uncomfortable", that's hard for me to swallow, when usually I exude a bossy ere. Nothing work wise typically phases me. I'm a bulldog who can tackle anything and has little anxiety when charging through those office glass doors. Until now.
What's funny is that if you told me 5 years ago, I would have been promoted nearly every year, I would have laughed in your face. I remember high school TC who needed an SAT tutor and got the same retail related math question wrong every single week. Ironically about a dress discount. Without fail, the 10% off and then the 10% markup question tricked me every time. So for those of you who thinks it's not possible to prove your younger self wrong, I'm living proof you can. I never thought my best friend would be Excel, never thought a petite, 5'2 TC would have a presence and that anyone would listen. If I were to share a secret to my success, Lesson #1; don't underestimate yourself and no one else will. Lesson #2; cute office supplies don't hurt either. An "I'm very busy" notebook says a lot without having to tell someone. Lesson #3 which I am living everyday in my new role; never be afraid to tell someone you don't know. It will take you a lot farther to admit you need help from your team than to pretend you have all the answers.
So why the newfound obsession with the letter H? Well besides it being a luxury brand, it happens to be the letter of my middle initial, Hall, which is so special to me; even more so than Crary (sorry Freddie). It's part of the reason I am so connected to the blog and my love of decor because of my grandmother. Hall happened to be her maiden name and is my mom's middle name. A mosaic H has recently taken residence on my new white coffee table with a vintage Parrot brush. Blanche at her finest. Aside from the Hall that lives inside my heart everyday, it's the theme around my work life; Hustle and Hunger. Bring in Florence and Machine and the title of this post. And in the last half a decade, my Hunger has been just that. Setting myself up in my career to then coast into the other half of life's Hunger... Love. And for that story, stay tuned.
So what's this story about my swan encounter at the Palace? It's the old bitty in TC coming to life. A few of you may have seen the gold birds that reside in my place. It's granny chic to the max and one of the best decor finds. It's not unusual that a few times a week I venture to the Palace. It's beautiful, looks different every time you see it and is majestic. I think the best date would be the Palace, a striped blanket, rose and playing cards which I have yet to experience. And thus the point of my story. I usually blast some tunes to get amped for the week ahead and find myself there. I stopped at the water and I kid you not, the swan at the other end came bolting for me. I think she knew I had gold birds in my house and if you believe in those sorts of things, I think it was my grandmother, ML. She cruised up to me, did a little pose and let me get the most amazing pics. We had a moment and soon enough, a crowd formed around us. It's those life moments where you see what you want to believe and in that swan, there it was; the H in me, the Hall, the Hunger.
And with that, on what turned out to be yet another foggy, gloomy evening in SF; I'll leave you with this. Being a person who is hard on herself and has high expectations is a double edged sword. You don't let yourself revel in your success, you focus on the moments of weakness which in the end, only make you stronger if you let them. Accept the fact that sometimes you need to take a breath and a moment to figure out your next hand.
Until next time, the next martini, the next pink house or in my case in about 3 weeks, a pink hotel.
I couldn't tell you the last time I saw snow. As a young TC, I was taught the Maui way of a beach vacay thanks to my parents. I guess it was destiny, as I would always choose warm weather over a little chill when I decided to whisk myself away to Arizona for college. And in the spirit of trying to be more spontaneous this year, I jumped at a last minute invitation in April to hideaway for a few days in the cutest of Truckee condos; thanks to a girl boss bff of mine. A chance to bring out my fur Uggs? You bet I was in. And the search for every fur piece I could pack was in full effect.
To this day, I pretty much tell the story of our meet cute as me asking her out for coffee via email when I realized we had gone back and forth on Outlook about 20 times. As soon as we met, our bond was instant. A love of pushing boundaries, being creative and searching for our side hustle. You could argue if I start my own company someday, I have a bench of bosses already picked as the tribe I've surrounded myself in my life is a tough group who are driven, self aware and not afraid of the word "no." They inspire me everyday and my DC partner in crime is no exception.
I was terrified to put myself on ski's so I opted for the bunny babe route, grabbed a cozy spot by the fire with a vanilla latte + a Jax Taylor sighting, (Bravo!) and dove into a book called the Year of Less. Because I am terrible at finishing pages, I still have some chapters to go but it's fascinating. Look at everything in your life that weighs you down, both physically and mentally, figure out what's important and focus on it. The rest becomes insignificant when you realize the things that matter. Easier said than done. It was then, I felt so relaxed which for those of you who know me is rare but I'm always trying to stop my mind from racing a mile a minute. I can't slow down but the pace of a still snowy vacay taught me I need just that. A moment to escape, surround myself with amazing company and be still. The escape work version of Tay has a mission: find more meaningful distractions.
And Truckee gave me the nudge to do just that, let go. The downtown was adorable and I felt like I was in a time warp. Historic buildings and an easy way of living. Sign me up and I'm not even outdoorsy in the slightest. After a snuggled work from home day, it was time for a vino outing. By far, my favorite night was by the fire pit. A few cocktails in, it was the perfect setting to kick off the weekend. I love me an Adirondack chair and when the color coordinates with my wine, it's #heaven. Girlie chats fireside on life, relationships and goals are good for the soul. We played hooky that Friday, snooped around the shops, grabbed ourselves a giant, impossible puzzle and enjoyed a night in. And for this granny TC, it was bliss. I put in about a good 3 hours but gave up after #4. DC was amazing and took the project to the finish line. She deserved a medal and a whole lot of red wine. The puzzle I donated to the Snowpeak Retreat was much more simple... the kiddie version.
Driving out of the mountains that Sunday afternoon, I was so sad. It's been awhile since I've felt bummed to leave a getaway. Normally, I am ready to jump back into the office and pile on more work. There's a lot to be said when you connect with a place, are with a gal who just gets you and experience a few days that leave you wanting more. You realize it's just what you needed. Truckee, I'm coming back for you and maybe next time, I'll be brave enough to hit the bunny hills... in fur, of course.